She Cares For The Kids That Everyone Else Forgot!

The Heart of a Mother: Sunethra Weerasinghe’s Journey of Compassion and Service
 
In this episode of The Quest for Success Podcast, we sit down with Sunethra Weerasinghe, a woman whose life’s work has been dedicated to caring for abandoned and disabled children in Sri Lanka. Her definition of success isn’t tied to wealth, recognition, or career milestones - it is rooted in love, compassion, and the profound impact one individual can have on a community.

Sunethra reflects on her early life, marriage, and the pivotal turning points that inspired her to open her heart and home to children in need. She shares the challenges of running homes and orphanages, the role of education in empowering marginalised communities, and the courage required to challenge societal stigmas surrounding disabilities.

Her journey is one of personal sacrifice and unwavering dedication, where happiness is found in seeing others thrive. Through her work, Sunethra has created safe spaces, built supportive communities, and inspired countless others to live a life of purpose and service.

This episode is a must-listen for anyone seeking to make a tangible difference in the lives of others, lead with empathy, and understand the true meaning of success.
 
Key Takeaways
 - Success is defined by the love and care we give to others
 - Compassion for those in need is a driving force in life
 - Education and empowerment are crucial for marginalised communities
 - Personal sacrifice is often necessary for the greater good
 - Building a supportive community can transform lives
 - Stigmas surrounding disabilities must be challenged
 - Legacy is about the impact we leave on others
 - Happiness comes from seeing others succeed
 - Every individual has the potential to make a difference
 - Life is about using our talents to help those in need

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Transcript

Dylan Pathirana (00:00.27)
All right. Welcome back to the Quest for Success podcast. And thanks so much for tuning in once again. Today, we are incredibly excited because we have a guest who is very different to most of the guests that we've had on today. Today on the show, have Sunethra Wirasinghe. And we're really looking forward to diving into your story and understanding a bit more about what you do. So while we are searching for a few people to talk in Sri Lanka, we actually in Sri Lanka, Dylan and myself, we've been looking at

very famous sports people, know, movie stars or very successful entrepreneurs. But then this story really attract us. And that's why we're here tonight. And thank you so much Sunitra, giving us some time without like very, very short notice. And we really wanted to dive into understand your story. And yeah, that's why we're here.

Thank you for your selection.

So, Sunetha, we need to start with a very important question to our podcast. And that is, what does success actually mean to you?

Actually, I am a very successful person as a woman, especially as a mother. Many people call me Amma, mother, that love. I could share my mother's love and that I use my human life as much as I can, 44 years, non-stop. So I am very happy.

Dylan Pathirana (01:28.974)
Thank

Thanks.

to see when I see about my life. So that is my successful journey.

So you happy, again, the way that you see success is like being a mother and contributing and helping others.

Especially those who don't have mother's love. Those abundant children and disabled, sick children.

Dylan Pathirana (02:01.536)
Yeah, so Sunitra just take us through like what exactly you're doing today.

Today means since 1980, I taking care of disabled orphan children. Children now, they have become adults because they have no place to go. Move from here, there are no place because nobody belongs to them. So they are abandoned already, left behind in the hospitals and roads and everywhere. So I clean them and take them and give them good education, training and...

May give them, you know, make them marry each other. am a grandmother now. From them I have 17 grandchildren, very good ones. Parents are disabled, they they are able ones, beautiful children.

you

Dylan Pathirana (02:50.39)
And I believe that you have multiple homes like... Yes.

five homes. have started by myself five homes and actually six. One more somebody the Mr. Dishanak has a girl Sambodhi home that he has started but it was going to close 1994. 1st of April I had to take over. Wow. There is a committee and more disabled boys.

So your story is all about giving people a second chance, but I want to, I want to go back to kind of your early days to understand how you were shaped because I think you're, you're the fundamental piece to all of these people's stories. So can you take us back to your early years and tell us a bit about how you were brought up?

Early.

I was a beautiful child and I had a loving and very happy childhood. Actually my mother and father, I have one sister elder to me and two brothers younger to me and I was having a very nice childhood and in my school also, two schools actually got to a Mahavidyalaya and then

Jamitha Pathirana (04:08.323)
And you know.

scholarship, grade five scholarship, Shishatre. Then I passed and went to Gautami Balika Vidyalaya. Still I am having connection with my schools and teachers. And I can say very, very much attached with my school time and my friends and teachers and temple schools.

Yeah.

Jamitha Pathirana (04:36.16)
is.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (04:40.566)
very much important because I learned Dhamma.

meditation. Afterward my marriage actually gave me a good lesson. It has, that is my turn point to become Sunetra Amma. To, you know, I could offer myself to many other people who I really need.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Jamitha Pathirana (05:06.448)
Yeah, Sunitra, I want to stop you there and just understand bit more your background. Before your marriage, what were you doing like after school and

No, just after school I got as a nurse, I got chance to but my husband he was in police department he didn't like, he wanted to get me married soon and night duties and all so he refused, thoroughly refused and sudden marriage I had and then at that time 19 plus 20.

How old are you then?

Dylan Pathirana (05:46.774)
Only 20 years old.

Only 20 and he was related to me and I couldn't run away from him actually. One year, almost one year he was coming to our place because he is one of my uncle's sons from my mother's relation. Anyhow I think that is a doom or fate or whatever. So it happened.

you

Dylan Pathirana (06:14.19)
And when you were, when you were young, what did you want to do?

And.

To be a nurse, my ambition is from childhood I wanted to take care of sick people. Always I had, by birth I had that caring, caring, caring others who are suffering, who are really in need. That my attitude was, and my father was socialist, know, red color party in our home house.

So it's always been your...

Baring nature

Dylan Pathirana (06:44.714)
Sunethra Weerasinghe (06:48.16)
Always all the big political leaders like Mr. N.M. Perera, Kusala Abevardhanu, we called them aunty uncle and they used to have meetings at our place. So always my father used to tell we are equal in the society, Podidu. We equal in the society and they call each other Sahodarya, Sahodari. And I saw some difference.

Awesome.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (07:16.334)
you know what we see in the society those days 60 years ago no I liked it I liked it how they respect each other how they take care of each other how they you know have their connections each other respecting especially so that I think it is another

Yeah.

Jamitha Pathirana (07:45.23)
another point of view.

take into my head. My mother is very pious lady. Dhamma. They are Buddhist. Buddhist philosophy according to Buddhist philosophy she used to take us for meditation and all these type of culture you know very strict not like our father. So I grown up like that. My background was like that.

Mm-hmm.

Jamitha Pathirana (07:55.63)
He said.

Dylan Pathirana (08:16.034)
Yeah. So you mentioned that you learn a big lesson from your marriage. What exactly the lesson?

And I got two times as teaching post also. But I refused because of these children, were crying and you know, after marriage.

All right.

Jamitha Pathirana (08:34.476)
is.

So you are with marriage you had three kids?

Three children, Two sons, one son, then second daughter, then youngest one son.

Yeah and again I want to ask that question. You said that you had a big lesson from the marriage.

She doesn't mean, sir.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (08:56.27)
I think everything happened for my good future, good life. For a reason. Yeah, good reason because I started my social service from my house, my home. One day one lady came, she was pregnant and she came to commit suicide. But I knew her, she was coming and having tea. My husband's friend.

And.

Jamitha Pathirana (09:13.193)
And.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (09:25.332)
So she said she's pregnant. Then I thought, okay, anybody can be pregnant. And in front of my house, she said, open her bag and showed me that I have to take a decision today. Before that, she said, I am pregnant. I said, okay, please come. into the house. Come and sit. No, no, I came to take my last decision was to

So.

Jamitha Pathirana (09:38.67)
them.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (09:55.032)
finish this problem like that what is the problem then I asked her why you are so upset then this child's father is your husband then I I don't know the big release inside my I think that is Nirvana thanks all the go

Okay.

Dylan Pathirana (10:12.302)
Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (10:19.018)
When you say relief, like

like

Something came, something became empty in a being inside. I... very free, something very free. I know Dhamma very well and you know, I know what is human life, everything at that time I know. And my, with my kind heart I thought and I jumped and took that bottle.

I

Sunethra Weerasinghe (10:51.982)
I don't know what is poison at that time, run right to run back. Because at that time came to my mind, I must save these two lives, baby and mother.

So simply she just came to kill you and then kill herself.

came if I don't know what was in her mind. But that day is her last, maybe last day. So then I asked, don't worry, I am there for you. She was surprised and yes, come and sit, we will talk. You can have my husband, no problem. I'm not go against to you. Don't kill yourself. You don't commit suicide. Don't think because you have beautiful baby inside you.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (11:38.826)
And I also pregnant. I didn't tell you. My third one. My third one, they are same age. Then my husband tried to chase her away. Don't believe her and all this. But I knew. I knew him very well. So then I said don't touch her. Don't try to chase her away. Now we must start. We both together.

Hi.

Jamitha Pathirana (12:06.466)
Help Help

Yeah.

He went out very angry with me. But afterward, he came after three days actually. But before that, I went to his main house, his mother and father. I didn't tell anything because they love me very much. My mother-in-law loved me very much. That family always with me. They all know village. Everybody knows but nobody tells me. So then that lady,

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (12:37.954)
When I gave my ring also, she put it nicely and I said, all my clothes are there, don't worry, you stay here. Like that, so she also, I think, got very good gut to be there because I am there. And I came to my parents. Then I thought I must use my life, my human body for others, not to...

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (13:04.832)
No need to commit suicide anybody in this world because one day we will die. Until then we can use our talents, our skills, our life because there are so many blind people, deaf and dumb people, disabled people. So I selected this path.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (13:23.67)
Yeah. And where did that forgiveness come from? Cause it must've taken a lot to hear that your husband was cheating on you and...

Yes, what to do because he was happy, you maybe he was happy to be with her. And we had private problems also, only three years, only three years with him. Some servants and some problem. I think I also have mistake. I must say that I always when I saw, when I came to know first time he says womanizer or going out.

I didn't want to even touch him. So I never forgive him. That may be my mistake according to all the problems in this world. Later I was young, Later I could understand. But even though I am happy, that's good what happens.

Yeah. So you think this is your turning point? You mentioned you had some troubles earlier and then when this lady came to your house and mentioned about the... Yes, then... You thought it's a big relief to get out of this?

Yes, turning point. That is my turn.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (14:44.59)
A gift. Yes, something. Now, the whole world will come to know because inside crying, all the time crying and you know, horrible time I had.

He gave you an

Still that lady, she's a friend. I like her. That son is my son. Surely that is a good decision I have taken. Because now later on, since 1981, I am dealing, working, doing service for prisoners in Prisoners Welfare Association. So many are there because

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (15:29.89)
of such problems. They killed the other one, you know, they put acid, know, so many they could do abortions and so many things what they have done because of that's why they are in the prison now as prisoners. So when I tell them, they are very sorry that they didn't meet me early to listen my story.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (15:46.936)
Yeah, yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (15:55.202)
Yeah, So Sunitra, just take us a little bit further after this marriage break down. Yes. And how did you, you helped this lady, right, to have, you know, because she was pregnant, same time you were pregnant. Yes. And then how did you start like moving to more charity and helping more people? More people?

people means yes, I have my background, it will be okay because my relatives and they all felt, you know, on sympathy and very much sorry about my life and you know, but sometimes they are happy to come out from that man. But again, they feel that they have to help me. So they are helping. That help also, I sometimes divide too. Sometimes they give for the babies things.

Do it.

Jamitha Pathirana (16:40.221)
and

Sunethra Weerasinghe (16:47.064)
clothes and things I divide two pieces in two parsers and give to that woman. wow. For that baby. He loves me very much. He's very nice, beautiful boy. that's how I started my service. And then I saw one of my grandmother's very close relative. My mother is from Mathura, Kamurupittiyan.

them.

Jamitha Pathirana (17:07.242)
and

Jamitha Pathirana (17:14.349)
So she is.

Mrs. Pushpa Hewavitharana. relation to me from my grandmother, she started home for abandoned mothers, rehabilitating mothers, unmarried mothers and babies, orphans, orphanage, Gulas Road. I saw one day, I didn't know that she's doing, she has started that.

Then I wanted to go there and I said to mother, Amma, what is this? I just want to... And I thought to become a Buddhist nun. Also I wanted to. But because of the baby, I can't. And I was thinking one day I will go to hermitage and live there, finish my life. That time I was not ready to do. What can I do? I know...

wow.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (18:11.118)
No any ideas coming. Then later when I saw this home, the name of this home signboard, I told my mother I would like to go and see. Never seen an orphanage at that time, my life. But she said, no, no, because she knows me. No, no, you don't go. No need to go and see again. You will be more upset.

and

Jamitha Pathirana (18:18.21)
So.

Jamitha Pathirana (18:32.11)
And.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (18:41.25)
with all your problems so you don't need to go. But one day, by force without telling her, I said I'm going to see her sister and I went there. That day I sat on the ground and cried a lot. then I understood, then I realized what is my problem. There are so many pregnant mothers, unmarried mothers and orphaned children. They had scabies on their skin and...

.

dirty looking and you know I thought okay I must start myself from here and then I asked that maitren who is running this home our madam this is Seva Vitharana can you please give her number or address I would like to see her because I would like to come and clean them and do some sort of service if allowed

Sunethra Weerasinghe (19:39.63)
If I get permission, then she gave me and she asked me to wait and telephone her. And she telephoned and asked me to come and meet her. When I went there, so my grandfather big photograph was there. I said, who is this? This is my father. No, this is my Muthu. Grandfather's father.

That's me grandfather yeah? Yeah yeah Muta yeah.

Are you from Kamburu Peethi? Yes, yes, I am from Kamburu Peethi. Who are you? And then I said, who is your baby's father? Because she can see my stuff. She thought that I have come to that home asking her help. I said, no, no, he is there. How do you know? Ask my father, like that way. maybe.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (20:21.432)
Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (20:31.114)
Then I said, no, I need to help. I don't need your help. I came to get your permission to help your home. Somebody who was living there, I saw, today I went there. because of blood smell you have come. So blood smell up to that she loved me very much. Because of that, you know, that our hermitage, know, like that, very happily.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (20:57.262)
Thank

took me inside and gave a cup of tea and you know very happy. From that day I passed as a nurse. Eight days I said training, college I went. So I had my uniform I was keeping it even recently. Maybe now I don't know after my mother died my shoes and everything new. So then you can be our nurse then. That was my first

Thank

Dylan Pathirana (21:24.846)
Okay, yeah, that's the way.

It is not a job. Still I am as a volunteer. From that day, from my problem, from that time, something to eat when I am hungry, something to wear. Then I have to cover my naked, cover my body and then somewhere to sleep. is sunetha. So then I become very rich by heart and I got so many things.

Yeah. Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (21:59.37)
Even I am giving away so many things, I can do anything. When I only have to think, some people ask, Amma, what are you going to do next? What is your next step? Like that, everything is coming. So much up to now, so many things I have done. When you feel, when you live in simple way, that means you don't need anything and you don't have any worries and you know,

Let's you.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (22:28.448)
You have many things.

Yeah. Whatever you... Yeah. But that's more of your person, right? Like you kind of given up everything that you had. But also you started a huge commitment. Like you're not just looking after yourself anymore. No, no. You have how many kids that you're looking after like overall?

I had top level under my wings 367. All are sick. All sick Then from that place, my husband went to the courts and he said he complained that after my son was born, that he needed that son also because I am taking care of these children. He doesn't want to keep in orphanage his child.

He.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (23:21.28)
I had to come out. But even though I was going because normally court cases, three months, three months. So after he was born, then like three months, four months I was at home. I had enough milk. My children are very big made, know, very strong people by the grace of my grandma. Anyhow. Then

from India.

Dylan Pathirana (23:30.284)
Yeah, it a long time.

So,

Jamitha Pathirana (23:48.718)
And.

I had milk and I know some small babies who left behind in the hospital newborn babies, unmarried mothers, they leave slowly and run away. Then the police what they do they wrap them and go to the courts and then coming round and round and they need milk, mother's milk. I was waiting until my son born. I was waiting because I wanted to feed them. So like 17 years.

kids.

No, my son is already good and my mother was taking care of and some soup and until I come back in the evening. So I go in the morning and come in the evening. So morning I go to the same place, Sarana home and feed them, wash them nicely and some small babies are nearly dying. Yellow color and skin.

needs to, you know.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (24:46.382)
I cannot remember, you know, I can't keep in my mind that pictures, you know, hurts too much. Yeah. When I die, I would like to recall that afterward, after some months, like two, three months, they become very strong and with a drop of milk, looking at me and without a smile, think I am the mother.

you have

Dylan Pathirana (25:15.864)
Yeah. wow.

that face must come to my mind because it is from me. Now I am getting donations and you know dinner, lunch, all this. Everything coming from outside others. This is my donation. I am very proud of that and I was a strong mother.

The glory

Dylan Pathirana (25:35.376)
Yeah

Yes.

Yeah. So Sunetra, you were just initially start with this home as a nurse, sort of a nurse and then how did you manage to take care

Wait, after that I met, I told you from my childhood, Kusala Bevardhana, we call her Kusala Aunty. Many people call her Kusala Aunty. Then one day I went to see her and she said, no, we need you. I know you from my birth. So, and she called her sister, Mrs. Puncheva, Yasoma Puncheva and introduced and I knew that home.

I am also a life member of one organization, women's organization. They were having disabled children home. So they have some children without arms. I trained them with the toes and they also orphans and started teach, become teacher there. I go there and teach them. So like that it started actually five years in my life.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (26:46.862)
I work as a volunteer for other big organizations like that. But inside, not satisfied, young age, my young age, I am little bit, you know, when I see something injustice in the world, in the society, I used to talk, I go against to that. I ask why, why you do that? Like that way I am not very innocent and very, you know,

hiding somebody. When I see something, no, why you did that? Like that way questioning and come to the front. So they didn't like me for that. They said as a volunteer, even as a volunteer, because I don't like to mention the organizations and I don't like what they did. Horrible things, not enough food, whatever you the coming from outside.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (27:46.474)
It is not going to this innocent poor children's stomach which made me very angry and very unhappy. So then I thought I must start a home by myself. And I do because whole world I cannot turn. They are very powerful ladies and I am a very tiny little woman and my parents they, my mother, brother also very good, you know, somebody who can...

I could do a job under him. So they were refusing to you from going there. Why you create unnecessary problems like that? But I was thinking of the children. In the same time, Kusala aunty, they recognized my talents and everything. Sacrifice, know, dedication and all. Then we applied for one university.

In Xavier University, I got a scholarship. Because I couldn't continue my education because of my marriage. So then I went and... That's in the Philippines, Yes, Philippines. 85-86, leadership course. I was the youngest. Only same age, another lady was there. All are big from other countries. 16 countries together, our batch. So it was very big kick.

And afterwards, so many jobs I got, but still my mind, you know, I feel sorry, felt sorry about the disabled children. they used to call me teacher Amma. Teacher Amma, don't go, don't And they cried and you know, that love and care. And I knew that nobody is there for them, behind them. So then I thought, and before that also I met Podiha Amdur.

is

Sunethra Weerasinghe (29:43.426)
Gangaram Podi Hamadur at Kusala Aunty's place and then I asked

Drone.

Can you please give a place for me to start a home? Because I have fed up by seeing what they are doing in the name of social service. I can't understand why these rich big people, what are they doing? The poor are always under their feet, you know. I cannot tolerate.

And.

But we don't have a place now. We also are in trouble. We don't have enough places like that. But you can try. It's a big story anyhow. When I returned from my university, then I went to worship Ganga Rama temple. I had a problem because my son, my youngest son,

Jamitha Pathirana (30:26.432)
Yeah.

So.

course.

Jamitha Pathirana (30:37.39)
them.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (30:42.99)
I put Ms. Dallas, tell me to DSA Nanaika College. Some people has put petition that my house is far away. I have used.

and...

Dylan Pathirana (30:54.222)
connections to get to

close address but it is not underground, not any deeds or anything made but anyhow he was going to school but he had no school when I came back but Mr. Jayathilaka, who died, who killed, he is the one he said, no this lady she was struggling to help

.

often children, often disabled children, sometimes I was fighting with them. Why don't you make gentlemen and very good lady not create a bigger... If they can, if they have good brain, only they are physically handicapped like that. I was fighting. So then he said, no, from the government, you must give her son same school, same class. Then I got very happy.

year.

Dylan Pathirana (31:33.024)
Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (31:50.83)
I was very happy and I went to give merits for the gods, all the gods. know, went to near the Ganga Rama temple. So I went there and in Podi Amudhru I met, Oh, where have you been?

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (32:04.494)
What do you have to do with the head monk of Ganga?

We have a also, same village, Kabrupitya. And then, where have you been, Amma? And there is a place, you can start a home. Wow, wow! Yes, so, and it made me, okay, I mustn't do anything, okay, I must start. But I can't help, you have to find out, you have to, you tell Kusala Aunty,

Thank

Dylan Pathirana (32:24.418)
Another happy news

Sunethra Weerasinghe (32:36.398)
And you have to, but my both hands and only heart I had my thoughts. Anyhow this Suhad Home came out like that. 1986. Just after return from my university. anyway, I refused all my jobs and then started Suhad Home. And then no food because no money. Only five children I took. And then again and and 48 it was.

When was this? Wow.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (33:06.318)
48 very soon, know disabled. That's the temple system. found temples. Temples are little bit rich, no? Anyhow people bring food for their death anniversaries and now dinner has come. They are maybe death anniversary or birthday. So like that way some people when they see, you know, then I manage to, you know,

What did you manage?

Dylan Pathirana (33:22.52)
Yeah, you can hear the noise go...

Sunethra Weerasinghe (33:36.754)
have these books and write their names and address and remind them next year also the same day, dinner or lunch whatever. That is the system I started. So, successful, very successful. When they come once, they are okay, my brother also like to give one. Now, in my five homes, I can't give any meal.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (33:59.818)
Yeah, yeah, you're fully booked.

They are very happy. Sometimes very small age. They are now fathers. Now they are children's birthdays. They are coming like that.

So Sunita, you mentioned all the kids that you under your care, they're orphans, right? So they've seen their parents?

No, never. No parents at all, no relatives. And it is a big problem for me when they die. I can't carry their coffin alone and I have to wait until somebody comes to lift it. Now actually I keep them in the parlour and finish it. Give some money for the labourers. That much they are alone.

Yeah. Yes. So you are the mother to all these kids.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (34:48.984)
to all these kids and yeah, mother, father, teacher, old laborer, barber.

And you started your first orphanage in this small.

Small house and then for when it become 48, but I had some problem also There were so many NGOs came up like mushrooms My service video and but I didn't get anything. I Then again second and very best lessons I have in this I learned a lot more than the university. I learned a lot doing

it.

doing by being in the society, recognize people like that. Anyway, then second home I started because I lost Mr. Premadasa, our ex-president. He gave me, one day he came to see the home while he was coming to Gangaram temple and he was looking everybody and he said, your dedication, that your work, your service.

Dylan Pathirana (35:32.62)
Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (35:58.03)
that it's marvelous like that way very big coming and whenever you need anything you please tell. Then I said can you please give me five acres? He turned back five acres nothing no you can select whenever we are river in this island where do you like to have five acres I will give. Then I selected the Mulleriya they are Mulleriya hospital

in

Dylan Pathirana (36:08.909)
Hehehehe

Sunethra Weerasinghe (36:27.84)
lots of now in in others hands business people are there anyhow i thought okay in my our our in in the university we had to write a book

Yeah.

Jamitha Pathirana (36:41.805)
our theater.

My impossible dream was having five acres because I am getting old one day. In that five acres having for this physically handicapped one home and mentally retarded and other mental patients.

Unmarried mothers like that way and source of income all in my head. That was my dream. Yes, dream impossible dream. Submitting to my university and they selected the best one of best students. Wow. feels in the university. Their anniversary celebration. Yes, I got the award because I did it.

It wasn't just a dream, right? It's just actually...

Sunethra Weerasinghe (37:30.606)
You made it happen? Make possible. So they were very happy, my teachers and that staff there. But I lost it because I asked one NGO, it was not NGO, personal and I asked to told everything, whatever inside me and my plan and everything. I draw everything and ask them to give buildings because I don't have money.

give buildings according to my source of income, the laundry and all are there. Very big, nice project. That five acres. He gave the five acres. And there was an organization came up because of that. He helped out, yes. I was nobody and they said, we can pay you until you die and we can insurance.

Yeah, they took your idea.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (38:24.302)
We start insurance for you. With your children you can come. This is your bungalow and furniture. Everything. I was asking who is running this home? You can bring only rehabilitated one, the physically handicapped one. Others you can keep at Suhad. And that one I don't like to mention. That is not there now actually. You are Sunetra. Because of Sunetra we put sun like that.

That name also we put like then I then all the business people and head directors they are going to that this is not my project that is under another organization another name but they put Suneetra because it's like that way then I stand up and I wash I said I wash my hands I have no business here you can take over I will support you

Any.

Yep.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (39:23.882)
if you need my help came out because they asked to leave my disabled children out not to take there so according to my idea so then when we measured that land five acres we were under a shadow provincial director of mental hospital angoda he said

Yeah. Yeah.

Thank you.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (39:53.196)
Why don't you take over that smallpox unit and do something? I said, doctor, now we are measuring five acres. What are you talking? One day I have to leave this body. So, no, I can't do any other things. No, the people, bad people are using. Those days when we had Vasuri, smallpox. So they put them into that pods, that area.

Yeah

Jamitha Pathirana (40:22.596)
nearly dying, those who are nearly dying. So that place, then when I washed my hands with that, this organization, I went there, started that place, cleaning and Sramadana and all the bad people came to hit me, but that is my native place. I grown up in that village. That's why they couldn't do anything. They recognize I know them, when they come to know me, when they see me.

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (40:51.704)
They worship Pango sometimes, you know, it didn't work. They couldn't chase me away. I was thinking why in this world it is very difficult to do something good. It's not.

Yes, jealous and yes I have lots of experience. I am like a baked cake as a woman. I can advise any woman in this world. So much experience. Anyhow, because of the problems, because they troubled and gave enough trouble,

Sasara Punaruttha Apanamadhyaya, Sasara Rehabilitation Centre. I am rehabilitating the sansara. I put that name. It is very successful. You can't get any meal from there also. And girls are there. Those who are coming out from mental hospital especially, nobody accepts. So those who go to mental hospital and the prison,

That's how live.

Dylan Pathirana (41:56.086)
Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (42:01.9)
When they come out, nobody loved them, nobody accepted them, even the family refused them. You know, don't give any job. So I thought, okay, I can do some.

So Sunita, tell us a little bit about your prison work. You you mentioned that, I mean, you have a whole day tomorrow or something. Exactly you do.

Yes, meetings. Some rehabilitation work and we have a big society there. Prison welfare association 104 years old. Yes, we all are volunteers.

So these are children.

Not only children. We have now in Kalambu, I am the chairperson of Kalambu Prisons subcommittee. We have Valikada prison and then under Valikada prison there is Kalambu Remand, Magazine and then Escort Branch, Women's Section, Hospital. These six places inside that area, six places whatever they need they tell us and I am vice president of

Jamitha Pathirana (42:48.91)
Dylan Pathirana (42:59.82)
Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (43:09.064)
All Sri Lankan prisoners, 30 we have. Now recently our president has become Judge Kusala Sarojani.

huh. Okay. So, you know, you've helped so many people out of, you know, all of the, these people that you've helped, is there any particular stories or anyone that you remember who's gone on to achieve great things?

Achieve means some of them were beggars when they came to my hand. They were begging from the road. So I sent them to school, like cleaning and make their legs and hands and you know become gentlemen and got married and having children and doing jobs. So that is enough, no? Otherwise they were begging, they had no body.

Do you still stay in contact with these people?

They come, they come and yes, my 17 grandchildren, they call me Athamma and coming.

Dylan Pathirana (44:10.806)
And what does that mean to you? Like how does that make you feel knowing that you've impacted not only one person, but the next generation as well? You've had such a long lasting impact. Yeah.

I feel happy, very happy, very happy with my life because when I see my, I reach my target, the Vega has become gentleman, Vega has become very nice lady and so when I see, so I can be very happy by myself, it's myself.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (44:42.21)
Yeah, yeah. So, Surya Tha, we asked the very first question, definition of success, right? Yes. So that that happiness that you get when you see someone achieving, that's a success.

That's success. They also, when I see their success, then because they're behind them, that I was success now. I am successful person.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (45:05.302)
Yeah. And you know, you've had to deal with a lot of, you know, suffering, a lot of children who are struggling and prisoners. How do you look after your own emotional state? Because it must take a lot of energy and take a toll on you.

times stress some don't think that without any problem just smoothly running they are fighting and they stealing things they run away the courts that's how I joined with the prison welfare so I had to fight in the courts one day so they punished me and put into the remand because I too much I was too much with the talker

because I went with them to make their birth certificate. They don't have. I am telling when they bring a girl in the evening, okay, I will put Sandhya. In the morning, if they bring a boy, Lahiru. Lahiru. So like, and my Veera Singh has her name. Like that, some names, but we have to, you know, make a...

Sunethra Weerasinghe (46:13.416)
you know birth certificate now for them so they that we have to go to the courts and get their statements in their order so for that when one day when I went with some children those days no pampers no telephone 1981 okay so when I was that that talker was because my hand was now you can see

So.

I was in the debating team in my school. Hand is going like this, Put your hand down like that. Very, very loudly. Then again, Swamini, is... Now you always postpone in three months, my hand is going. I put you into the jail, under arrest. That man, that talker, I was thinking I came for social service. I have my pride, it came out.

Yeah

Sunethra Weerasinghe (47:10.316)
than young me, young age and I was thinking we must train them how to talk to a murderer, how to talk to a thief and how to talk to a social worker. Somebody my value came up, my ego maybe. So I was like why you are talking like this?

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (47:30.324)
You have to, yes, my Lord, you have, we must have training program for them like that. So can't, don't like that. Then I had to go to Vimanda because they said they put me with the children to that people who are in the cage, near to that and then afterward we punish you that I could see judge was

like.

Dylan Pathirana (47:51.723)
Okay.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (47:59.488)
He was smiling because he can understand my young age and because what happened there. So 500 rupees. asked, only 500 rupees? What is insulting to the courts? And he said before that, do you know the law? Man who's too much, who's talking like to a murder. Do you know in the courts, you can't sneeze and cough even.

I wanted to say natural things in human body natural things is there any law like that you have to erase this law my lord because they are natural thing that you order order order but I was don't I wanted to tell that's how I went to the prison from following day I am going now I am

Yeah, wow, it's amazing. So, Sohedra, you know, you mentioned you're a very simple person, right? You don't really need too many things. You just need something to eat, something to wear, you know, just the basic stuff. But now you have over 300 children that you're... It's a lot of responsibility.

Now 214 because I stopped taking new ones since six years. I can't because

Wow, okay. So have you ever regret what you've done? Have you ever thought what have I done?

Sunethra Weerasinghe (49:26.38)
Never. Never. Because I need to do that. I need to use my human life. I saw there are so many those who are really in need. My help, not only mine, my help. We all have to help them. We must help them. some are doing just use them those who are really in need.

you

Sunethra Weerasinghe (49:53.378)
But myself, I was thinking, my inner being, okay, I must use my life and help them to come up, come out. But some of them we can't rehabilitate 100 % because we have to clean them, feed them, taking care of them, give them medication. That's life, that body are there. So for everybody I must say, I would like to tell

this perfect body, our perfect body lacking not lacking anything that is enough for the life that is enough to success your life and perfect body. Health, mentally, yeah mental children, mental patients are there mentally mentally retarded are there they don't know how to ask food.

and.

Dylan Pathirana (50:37.579)
So if you have a healthy, physical and...

Dylan Pathirana (50:50.092)
Yeah, yeah.

When we give, when we feed, they don't know how to stop. Now it is enough. They don't, some of them, they are not screaming. When they hungry, no. Only life. I have one girl, she cannot see, she cannot talk, she cannot listen. Only we have to give the plate on her hand. she, when we keep her hand, then she is eating.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (51:16.014)
So we don't appreciate what we have, right? Sometimes, you know? Yeah. Yeah. And I want to understand, you know, especially here in Sri Lanka, there's a bit of a stigma. People think badly about, you know, children with disabilities and that's why they're put on the street. Why do you think that that is the case?

This is enough.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (51:38.004)
Even you know one land just front of this home. They couldn't sell it because early morning they can see our children. But that front house lady she bought it in cheap rate I think. Yes nice of her because they refuse and when somebody come you know when they go in the morning to their office they don't like to see and if they come then they turn back sometimes. Mentality is like that no?

But yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (52:07.159)
They don't like them. Bad luck, bad scenery, you know.

And how do you think we can change people's perspective? How can we make people more accepting?

They have to think. There are so many sicknesses. They can have the sicknesses and they can become same way. Walking like this way by accident. What to happen? I don't pray for that. But they must think. It can happen to us, our children, our life anytime.

It wasn't a choice. No. Yeah.

So then others are doing the same thing. Don't like to see them, don't like to associate them.

Dylan Pathirana (52:49.966)
I think to answer to that question Dylan, like you you are doing that. You know are a leader in that changing that mentality of not just Sri Lanka and this is everywhere right? Because in a way we call them special kids. In our heads they are not special. That's what we call it. Yeah like you know it's so sad right? Like when you think of that perception that we have

Everywhere.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (53:11.434)
Not special.

Dylan Pathirana (53:17.324)
You are already changing it, like for people like you.

Change means those days sometimes for special teachers training. In Maharagamadeva they used to call me and give lectures about my work, tell them to train the teachers. So I tell them those days we use disabled actually now special needs. the girl I used to use her and I had boys and girls and I sent them to university also.

writing and reading and writing and music playing instrument everything by toes. So I asked them can you do that? Normal people? They are disableding. Not able to do what she is doing. you know in social service department once they sometimes once a year they have competitions. So I was thinking one day before this building we were together they are down there.

one old building. So I saw one day night some children get fit, know, epileptic, so many epileptic children. So one boy was sleeping like this, his legs are going up. When he sleeps this side, has, because bend this by hip, he can't be straight, sleep straight. And another one with a small leg, the leg is somewhere else like a flag.

You know, you put a flag there. I was thinking I must create a group of circus. So we got, there was no competition. We got a special place. With the music, I made them a circus group. With those, one is playing organ and the others are, yes, I will show you.

Dylan Pathirana (55:10.68)
Right, so some of that is like this.

Dylan Pathirana (55:23.918)
So that was such an extra.

Dylan Pathirana (55:34.616)
Need to have music here.

I'm sure much that time.

Not flexible like before. Thank you Sampat. Thank

That's amazing. I learn from them and teach them, train them.

It's two way.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (55:57.016)
So when I see their talents, so in front of them, I must say we are disabled. We are special needs. I can't do what they do. We can't do what they do. No, we can't bend our body. can't, you know, then who is mentally retarded children? I have so many stories. there was a very big tree, Pullum cotton.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (56:25.9)
Yeah. Yeah.

We make pillows. then I, they pick, they pick up because my grandson was, my daughter was pregnant. So I said, whenever you pick up, we see some pulling this embellish this, you, better collect them. And then one very much Down syndrome boy was there. Then I said, his name was Bill, but old one. Then I said, put that you can.

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (56:55.534)
open this and I showed him how to do and take one by one. He was little bit angry you know, high temper with the other girls and try to hit them. So take out one one seat and take the cotton for the baby who is coming, Mally brother is coming no so put like this and I heard sound, sarasarasarasar He has found somewhere somebody threw away.

synthetic chair, broken one, no plastic I can't remember so underneath he has put a piece of paper, newspaper, old newspaper and he put that one and doing like this all the seeds are coming down by himself yes I had asked have you seen somewhere somebody no

them.

Not cane, like plastic.

it.

Dylan Pathirana (57:44.83)
innovation.

Dylan Pathirana (57:53.222)
Wow. So one more question I have Suneetra. So you've been looking after hundreds if not thousand kids over the last last year. have you you know your three kids have they ever told they okay they helped

We never found what that terms is.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (58:12.866)
They also helped me. But they feel sorry for me. My youngest son, now only one week ago I came back from Sweden. He is in Sweden. My youngest son got married and has two kids. And he is having a good life. And, Amma, how long you are going to continue all this? And we will lose you. Now enough now. I am going to be 70.

Yeah.

So now you have to think of yourself. And my brother also, they feel very sorry.

Salute.

Dylan Pathirana (58:47.598)
Yeah. So what's plan? What's the plan? Like what's the future?

No plan. I don't have any plan in my life. From that time, no plan. Day to day, Planning for some programs, yes I have to plan now. But no any future plan. But nowadays, because I know I have to say goodbye to my body. I have to leave this body one day.

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (59:20.398)
So it has come now. I don't know when it will happen.

Suddenly can happen, then what will happen to them under my wings? So, I one by one I am closing now the homes and I have a small plan to have one for girls, one for boys. So like that and lack of staff also. Staff members are very difficult to find out. They don't touch them, they don't clean. Cleaning purpose?

Yeah.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (59:53.066)
going to hospitals still even now somebody then I have to run I have to stop this and come to hospital maybe this sari tomorrow evening I have to remove change that is my life

We are, yeah. Amazing. And you mentioned that, you know that one day you're going to have to leave this body. When that happens, what do you want people to remember you by?

Yes.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:00:18.094)
I don't need anything. Nobody needs to remember me. What for? According to Buddhist philosophy, I have used my body. Nobody needs to know or remember me. No way. But some people, some children under my care, I don't know what will happen to them.

Yep.

Jamitha Pathirana (01:00:29.386)
Hello.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:00:46.646)
they will cry. They will, I don't know, will, whether they will get food enough, care enough, that I don't know. But then I give that to Karma.

Yeah, yeah.

Jamitha Pathirana (01:00:53.988)
And.

Dylan Pathirana (01:01:01.806)
But don't you want your legacy to carry on like you you want someone another Sunitra to come and take over and Yeah One in a kind

Still I couldn't find another. Because they have their own life. have so many staff. No, not kind people I met but they have their own life. They need to get married. They need another good job. More money. They need their own house. They need their own relatives and live with their families.

And.

Jamitha Pathirana (01:01:36.559)
They need to wear nice whatever they like they need to do. Not 24 hours suffering for others. Their idea is different. I think yes in one way special but somebody who can dedicate whole time for others turn back and listen to them and no way.

Special person to it.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:02:07.082)
I still couldn't find. Because I pay them whenever they come to work even though I didn't come to wash plates, I didn't come to clean. Yeah. No, no, I didn't come to clean the sheets of the children like that, mentality is there. So what to do? Then they are standing and I am doing that.

Yeah, yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (01:02:19.192)
Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (01:02:25.708)
Yeah.

Yeah. Do you feel lucky that you've had this opportunity to do what you have or has it been hard?

I I have borne for that I think because from my childhood I knew I know me very well because when somebody is suffering when somebody is very sick and suffering especially crying I never say ayo pav and I never turn back and go go and ask why try to solve the problem try to do something so it is continuing

Yeah. So one more thing, one question like so I know you said that you have food coming from different people, donors, anything that people like us can do to help you.

They are also home repairings. Repairing the family. Now that family came and gave food. Food then they asked, Amma, we are having now tomorrow morning breakfast. also asked, Amma, do you need any other things more than food? Then I said, yes, some peppers or something.

Jamitha Pathirana (01:03:24.53)
and

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:03:41.226)
and some green so powder or something. So they bring. They bring. And sometimes, as you said that some people come and ask no food, but we can do some other help. What do you need? At that time, whatever we need, I tell them. Like that. Pack of soap, cleaning stuff. Now on the 31st, whole day, I am going to

Dylan Pathirana (01:04:01.09)
Yep.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:04:09.388)
visit my boys home, they need rice. Tell what they said. I wrote 10-12 kilos per one meal. They need rice, sugar, milk powder, tea leaves, Lysol and cleaning stuff, germ killers, and some salmon and some eatable things.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (01:04:20.994)
Wow.

it.

Dylan Pathirana (01:04:33.762)
Lots of our listeners are international. So is there a way that they could donate to you or from overseas not being here in Sri Lanka?

Main means the donations. Better than donation if they come and do one particular things, then it is easy for me. Otherwise I have to go to the shops and I have to find the people to do that as a project if they can do. My second home, protection is not there that much. So I need to have a wall from that side.

Yeah.

Jamitha Pathirana (01:05:04.225)
Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:05:12.942)
Some people are not okay from that side at least 100 meters. If somebody can donate, I can propose.

Okay. Of course, yeah. It's a project. Yeah.

It's like a project and all the... we have to repair the roof. Roofs and the walls are not okay. More than 200 years...

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (01:05:39.342)
Old. So all those places are given to you like donated? No.

Dutch people has built.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:05:47.218)
No, nothing belongs to me. This belongs to Gangaram temple. am just doing service, daily service. I must thank and pray for all the merits goes to our great Naikathera, Punyamdhara and other places belongs to health ministry.

to the organization.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:06:15.49)
But I'm going to ask them to give it to Ganga Ramatim. And the other one is in Provincial, this thing. Nothing belongs to me, not in my name.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (01:06:29.782)
Yeah. And Sunetha, you know, we could talk about your journey for hours, but looking back, looking back on your journey, do you feel successful?

Looking back, yes, very much. Yes, very much successful. I don't know sometimes only I think I must do this and if I can help him like this way. Somebody is asking, it comes to me. Strange, it's miracle like.

Yeah. Well, it has been a fascinating conversation, especially, know, understanding. Very special one actually. More about, you know, compassion and empathy and how, you know, as a society we can become more compassionate people. And I've written down a few key traits.

And I have to, I must say, I am not a very good person. I get angry, sometimes conflicts. Yes, I am not a saint. Yeah. Okay. That I got some, so many awards. Mother Teresa of Sri Lanka, but I, she's a saint. Please don't use the name and don't, yes. Because I haven't done like her, but from India to Times and

do yet.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:07:45.518)
Sweden, the first one, like that so many names, so many titles, so many names and very much highlight and give. But that time also I would like to say, I get angry. I am very normal person, normal woman, normal woman. Only specialty is that I cannot see somebody suffering. Somebody suffering, then I must do something. I need to help. That is there.

Yeah.

Dylan Pathirana (01:08:10.882)
Yeah. Yeah. And so I've written down a few core traits, which I think have been part of your success. And I'd like to share them with you. The first one is you're extremely compassionate. And I think that's really the core part of what success means to you. You have the compassion for others and you show them compassion, regardless of their status. You know, they could be a beggar on the street or a rich kid. You will look at them the exact same way. And I think that's really important. The second one is.

forgiveness. You've gone through so much struggle, whether it's, know, through your marriage or other NGOs coming and stealing your projects, but yet you forgive and you, you let things be and you move on and see how you can make impact further down the line. You don't dwell on things.

The next one is, you're a, a very questioning mind. You're always asking how you can improve things, how you can get better at things. And I think that's been a core part of why you've opened so many orphanages is because you're always questioning. And then the last one is. Yeah.

and there I have to work hard. Today I actually not in sari. I am like a beggar sometimes. Dirty everywhere and work hard. That's very important because nobody like to work hard.

I'm

Dylan Pathirana (01:09:31.506)
Absolutely. Yeah. That was another one I had was a sacrifice. You know, you've had to sacrifice a whole life.

whole life 44 years now stop Nami stop

Exactly. To, to care for these kids. You've, you've given up so much. You've given up your own life to give these kids a life. And I think that's really important. And the last one is you, you come at it from like a managerial mindset. And I think that's been really crucial to you scaling your operation is, you you're always thinking ahead. You're always thinking, you know, how can I get donations in the book for the future?

you're future-proofing, making sure that, you know, there's not just one location for you to run, but there's people running your other locations so that your impact can be greater than just you. Yeah. I mean, we done, we done almost 70 interviews and I think I really liked this interview with you. Thank you. Because I, this is like, you know, nothing

like everything you're doing not to gain anything. No. It's that I mean this is very rare, very special interview because everything that we've done so far everyone's doing to how to step up, how do you do one percent better but you're not doing anything like that you're doing because there's so much need out there right? Help out so that sacrifice that selflessness right? Like is that the right word to say? It's

Dylan Pathirana (01:11:03.67)
we haven't seen in our whole podcast. So thank you so much and having this chat with

People don't know because thank you so much for coming and now once I had an interview like this too in YouTube with Mr. Harindra Jayalal. So I think more than one million I have no time to say. And anyhow so many but asking my help. They phone and ask my daughter can I put my mother.

Thank

in the

Dylan Pathirana (01:11:36.515)
Yeah.

Can you please take care of like that way? But now I would like to say because I must be ready. You asked plan my plan. I must be ready to leave this body and no any newcomers. No.

Yeah I mean that's sad right so hopefully you find someone that another Sunitra to take over I think that's going to be very very difficult challenge to fill your shoes but hope because that's really needy right like you know otherwise I feel sorry for the children like you know I mean this is only a small part of like what's

Difficult.

Sunethra Weerasinghe (01:12:14.634)
I to see some children.

Afterwards we were able to. So you know like this is a very tiny part of the needy children like if you go out there like you probably see so many kids like you know there's no parents begging on the street and what you're doing is thank you so much for what you're doing. And if people want to learn more about what you do or you know support is there a way that they can contact you?

can you can my number is there. I don't have anybody has to start website for this conversation. time to for go. No to show some other people that I'm doing this. Daily I am just Yeah.

And you have a website. Okay, that's good. Well, Sinatra, thank you so much.

Do marketing, do marketing.

Dylan Pathirana (01:13:02.55)
Yeah. You're putting in the work. Also, Nethra, thank you so much for this conversation. And if you guys have learned anything and, you know, gotten value out of today's episode, it would mean the world if you could like and subscribe so that we can get our message out to more and more people. And you can see all of our inspiring content over at our website, the quest for success podcast.com. And with that, we'll catch you guys in the next episode. Thanks for listening.